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I’m still deeply ingrained in this whole transition thing going on.  There is so much irony in this funeral project.

As my good friend Stacy put it…I have no control over this process, it’s just happening and I don’t have a choice.  I thought at first that was just an outside view of this journey, but as I begin to process it more and more, I realize she’s right.  Shifts and changes are happening that I not only didn’t ask for, but that I have no control over.  My thought processes have changed dramatically as has my view on myself as a writer.  In order to see oneself as a writer, one must write beyond excuses and procrastinations. No matter what reasons we might contrive to justify not working at the craft, the bottom line is, failure can only be accomplished by not trying.

As I’ve looked back on this writer journey, I contemplate how fearful I was of the big fish out there, the ones that are completely visible and up front with their talents and abilities. It was this idea of big fish that created an intense kind of self-doubt in me.  It wasn’t until I met two very inspiring women, Aleshea and Venus, that I realized it’s not the big fish one must fear.

What we really need to look out for is the small groups of fish that nibble a bit at a time on self-esteem, ability, and focus.  It’s that slow degeneration of believing in oneself that causes the most damage.  We are surrounded by people that harbor jealousy, ill will and malcontent for those they might perceive to be a threat to their delusions of grandeur.  What’s worse is putting your trust in someone that portrays themselves as a friend and supporter of what you do, only to realize they are really just nibbling away until they take enough to break down their prey.

To you big fish out there that are genuine…thank you for being a shining example of how to do it and do it right.

For you small fish out there that keep nibbling…be cautious. It takes many to create the illusion of a big fish. In the end, it’s you, all alone facing a big fish.

That is all.

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