This emotion has been my go-to for many years when dealing with a crisis – ANGER.
Practicing my way through removing this knee jerk reaction has been difficult through the years. It has by far been the easiest way for me to assert myself. I’m not proud of the way I’ve handled situations in my life by lashing out and placing my rage into someone else’s space. When in survival mode, anger is the emotion that defines strength for me, but in all the wrong ways.
I’ve had this fire burning inside of me that has wanted to get out and burn everything in its path in order for me to feel safe. Makes no sense, I know, but fire most often cannot be contained and has to burn itself out. Anger, becomes rage, become a grudge, becomes something completely unmanageable. Anger sets in rather quickly, unlike other emotions that need time to build up and do their jobs. Anger is swift in doling out revenge and providing a sense of payback justice.
It’s also incredibly exhausting and takes up so much brain space that there isn’t room for much else. Now, as soon as I begin to feel the anger well up inside of me, I stop, take a deep breath and reach for a more pleasant way of being. It’s actually easier now than before, because I have released so many emotional, spiritual, and psychological burdens. I don’t feel so weighed down anymore and that in itself is a gift.